intellimresearch.com » Relationships

Are you Addicted to Bad Relationships?

bektinet — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 00:42:54 +0000

Share time together on the internet. Get a game that can be played together on the internet. You can chat while playing and this will help keep the feeling of togetherness alive.

Advertising executive, Carol Fena has been in and out of a relationship with banker, Neal for the last two years. They break up for a week or two but then keep getting back together until the next blow-up. Carol’s friends can’t understand why she keeps going back to Neal and why she is so addicted to him in spite of the fact that he is emotionally abusive.

Many are the people caught in the web of addictive relationships. And often, we ourselves realise that we have been in relationships that have disappointed us in some way or another… relationships that didn’t work out the way we had hoped, wanted or thought they would. And, we’re not just talking about intimate and love relationships. We’re talking about toxic friends, back stabbing relatives, abusive partners and controlling family members, vicious colleagues.

Sometimes the poisoned relationship is with a family member or an in-law. Or perhaps a friendship has lived out its purpose. In this case, so much time has been invested in the friendship that it is hard to let go. However, addictive relationships are most often evident in romantic interactions between men and women.

UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS

Remaining in a bad relationship not only causes continual stress but can also cloud your life with frustration, emptiness and despair. It can drain your energy and make you tense and stressed. Addicts become so elaborately enmeshed in the other person that the sense of self-personal identity is severely restricted, crowded out by that other person’s identity and problems. Such people struggle relentlessly to fill the great emotional vacuum within themselves. Despite the pain of these relationships, many rational and practical people find that they are unable to leave, even though they know the relationship is bad for them.

One part of them wants out but a seemingly stronger part refuses or feels helpless to take any action. It is in this sense that the relationships are addictive. In case of romantic relationships, entering a relationship based on the fear of being alone is totally self-destructive. In this type of scenario, an individual will choose to be with just about anybody to fill the void he/she has in life. Desperation for love and romance to fulfill your desires may lead to selection of wrong partners. So, if you use your fears and insecurities to make your relationship decisions, you inevitably will have to suffer pain and suffering.

ATTACHMENT HUNGER

A person who is excessively attached to another person most likely carried those habits over from past relationships. The conditions in past relationships can leave a person feeling inadequate or mentally and/or physically abused. Romantic relationships are not the only type that causes such habits to develop; they can also stem from lack of nurturing or attention during childhood, isolation or detachment from family, early abandonment, unrecognised early needs and fears of rejection. Often, children who are not loved, nurtured and encouraged in their independence are left feeling ‘needy’ as adults and may thus be more vulnerable to dependent relationships. These ‘clingy’ feelings which develop early in childhood, often operate without awareness and can exert considerable influence on a person’s life. Often, dysfunctional relationship patterns are passed on from parents to their children.

Thus, unhealthy relationships can be a source of great agony if there is emotional or physical abuse involved. Often, relation addicts do not want to see or believe that their parents, spouses, children or friends can be a toxic influence in their life. This kind of denial may last a lifetime, or it may give way to a painful awareness that the relationship is not healthy. Also, for many people caught in this trap, it is often a vicious circle. For them, the end of one relationship is not always the end of the battle. They choose destructive relationships over and over again. The consequences of their choices are painful and emotionally damaging, yet those that engage in this repetitive behaviour never seem to learn from their experience.

BREAKING THE CYCLE OF BAD RELATIONSHIPS

All relationships leave very important clues about who and what we are. Try to remember all the relationships that you know have been bad for you. Think of the relationship history and look for patterns, themes and repeating incidents. “If it is all about everyone else and what they did to you, it means you are a victim, helpless to affect change. When you can see where you are contributing to the problems, you can make changes. Personal accountability is the most empowering tool for healing. You can talk to a trusted friend or a counsellor depending upon the severity of your situation. Sometimes having an outsider’s perspective is helpful. Such a person can help you filter through your options and underlying motives for making a decision. Often, it is difflcult to sever ties with people with whom you are emotionally involved – say family members, spouses, boyfriend/girlfriend, ete. Breaking up will not be easy. Be sure to resolve any guilt you might be feeling. Too often we let other people relate to us on the basis of our weaknesses and faults. We are attracted to bad traits in people and consequently, these characteristics lead to unhealthy relationships. These people have no other way of relating to us. It will take some re-learning and re-conditioning to achieve this change of relating to others through our strengths, especially if the negative relationship has been long term. You have to let go of negative relationships. It could mean you have to break a business partnership. It could mean you need to call off an engagement. It might require you to avoid toxic friends and acquire some new friends who are true to you.

STAYING IN A BAD MARRIAGE

Married people stay together to work out their issues. This approach to marriage counselling believes that your partner is the right person to help you heal your wounds. With this approach, many marriages can be saved. However, there are three reasons to leave a relationship: The Three As. There is severe abuse, severe adultery and severe addiction. These three extreme conditions rarely change. In such cases, getting out of the relationship is important. You are putting yourself, and possibly others, in serious jeopardy if you continue to stay in the relationship. Divorce in such cases is merited. Also, partners sometimes stay in bad marriages for the sake of the children. But this can be a big mistake if there is abuse involved, because doing so puts a terrible burden on the children. But marriage experts believe that each marriage has different issues and if the problems can be solved amicably, there is no need for divorce. A study conducted by sociologist Linda Waite at University of Chicago suggests that staying together is better for the children. She writes in The Case for Marriage that “most current divorces leave children worse off, educationally and financially, than they would have been if their parents stayed married, and a majority of divorces leave children psychologically worse off as well. Only a minority of divorces are taking place in families where children are likely to benefit in any way from their parents’ separation. I do not advocate divorce as a first step when a marriage is going awry. There are always ups and downs in a marriage. Anyone can manage life during good times. It is getting through the bad times that makes or breaks a relationship.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

It is not difficult to break bad relationship habits. Once you decide to let go off your clingy nature, healing will automatically come. Once you aim to heal your past and maintain healthy relationships, you will automatically stay away from associating with toxic people. Always try to keep your relationships healthy. People in healthy relationships grow together and don’t stunt each other’s progress. Learn to respect your individuality and give and take space. Sometimes we have to associate with negative people, but if you have a healthy self-esteem and courage to stand up for yourself, you won’t be affected by such people. Thus, the first step towards breaking bad relationship habits is having a strong conception of your own identity. Often, we allow people into our lives who treat us as we expect to be treated. So, if you feel contempt for yourself or think very little of yourself, you may pick partners or significant others who reflect this image back to you. Learn to recognise such patterns in your life and pluck them off. There will be anger, resentment, hurt and pain. But, you will be breaking your psychological dependency on other people. Recovering from relationship addiction is a process of acknowledging and then letting go of pain, and finding ways to build a happy life.

OVERCOMING RELATIONSHIP ADDICTION

1) Make your ‘recovery’ the first priority in your life. Look for roots of emotional abuse.

2) Go through your early relationships. Tell yourself that you’re an adult now, in charge of your life. Invest your time in disconnecting from the emotions that have been eating you alive.

3) Cultivate whatever needs to be developed in yourself, i.e., fill in gaps that have made you feel undeserving or bad about yourself.

4) Learn to stop managing and controlling others; by being more focused on your own needs; you will no longer need to seek security from others.

5) Develop your spiritual side, i.e., find out what brings you peace and serenity and commit some time, at least half an hour daily, to that endeavour.

6) Learn not to get hooked into bad relationships.

7) Find a support group of friends who understand the pressures you might be facing.

Consider getting professional help, if need arises.

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Are You Planning to Solve Your Relationship Issues so That You Can Make Up With Your Ex Love Partner?

bektinet — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 07:56:17 +0000

There is most likely a solitary main piece of relationship advice that should be given to men is to stop listening to what the women claim that they want, and be observant to what they display of what they really want.

Are you planning to solve your relationship issues so that you can make up with your Ex love partner?

I understand that you are very frustrated and eager to have your ex love partner with your side as much as possible. You have to remember that once you have started showing any sign of desperation and desire for your wants, you will never ever achieve what you want. This same goes to any other stuff, personal, work, studies, result, etc. I appreciate that you can follow my advice very thoroughly and carefully. This is because if you follow reading through the piece of article, I can guarantee that you will able to solve your relationship issues with a spark of excellence. Anyway, it is up to you whether you like to use my methods, but you can always use them as part of your references.

If you have accidentally forgotten some main key points after glancing through this piece of article, do feel free to visit it again. It can help to refresh your memory and light up your imagination and continue pursue your dreams to get your ex love partner back in your relationship. Whatever relationship issues you are struggling with, there is a way to resolve them. You just need to work out what the best type of help for you is and go get it. Well, here are your main options … I will explain all the six categories in short forms. They are mainly to solve it yourself, Get help from friends, family and forums (FFF’s), Get professional help, but which is most appropriate for you? Well, the type of relationship issues you are facing will determine what help is most suitable for you. Let’s look at each of your options in turn.

Solve your relationship issues yourself. Sometimes it’s just a case of getting the right bit of self help advice and applying it to recover a relationship. You can find a whole host of common answers to relationship issues on this site that may help you tackle the problems you’re facing. I’ll give you direct advice, recommend books, quiz you and tell you the truth. However, you may realise that the issues you’re facing aren’t going to be solved by self help. This is often the case if you’ve attempted it before and failed, if you feel like you’re running out of ways to deal with the issue or if you suspect the reasons for the issue may well run a lot deeper than they first appeared, either on your side or on your partner’s side.

So what then? Get help from friends, family and forums? (FFF’s)

You know what? No – is the answer! (I’ve nothing personal against your FFF’s by the way

It may seem harsh or biased to rule it out straight away, but there are a number of reasons for doing this. I won’t go into them in too much depth, but here are a few… Each of your friends will have their own different point of view – how will you know who’s right? It’s very difficult for them to be impartial – because they’re so close to you they’re much less likely to investigate ‘the other side’ of the relationship. If they reinforce your point of view and if you’re wrong it’s only going to damage your relationship further.

The number of points of view you’ll get can leave you even more confused – if you get 3, 4 or more conflicting views, which do you, believe?

The truth is very difficult to tell you. Your friends are more likely to avoid telling you the truth than hurt you and potentially jeopardise your relationship.

I could go on – but I think you get the picture. If you’re thinking, “Well, he’s a professional relationship counsellor. He would say that, wouldn’t he?” The answer is, no.

If it really was a beneficial way of solving relationship issues, I would tell you. After all, I believe self help is valuable up to a point. And there are always more people in a month looking for my professional advice than I can deal with, so I have nothing to gain by trying to persuade you that professional help is the best way forward.

If you’re looking for comfort, empathy and reassurance friends, family and even forums can provide that for you. If you want all of those things and the truth, clarity and your relationship issues resolved, then consider the option of professional relationship advice instead. If you know for sure you can’t afford professional relationship help, and then go back to option 1 to find the answers and use your friends and family to comfort you in the hard times.

But whatever you do, if you do seek their advice or they provide it, take it with a pinch of salt. It’s very difficult for them to be objective, to be an expert and to tell you the truth, so don’t expect all they say to be good advice just because they’re your friends. Sometimes it’s genuinely very difficult to separate the two (good advice and good friends) in your head. Professional relationship advice -

If you are beating yourself about the head trying to resolve your relationship issues and the self help and the FFF’s aren’t helping, then start looking into relationship coaching. You can book a free consultation, a 1-off coaching session or start coaching weekly with one of our relationship coaches.

Obviously you can seek help from any professional. However, here I am biased! I recommend myself

But obviously, you need to make up your own mind about who is the most suitable relationship coach for you. Whatever your relationship issues, there is a way to deal with them. Just make sure you choose the right way for you. Is it Couple in Crisis? – Save your relationship! If you’re looking for relationship help that will actually help save your relationship, then you’re in the right place. Â

With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared if you have faced any problems with your loved one. I have a strong belief that if you understand what I have explained and shared in this piece of article, then the problems could be minimised and your relationship could become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best in your relationship with your partner. Do not forget to support the decision of having making up than breaking up. Your happiness always lies in your hands for the relationship. Once again, I wish all the best and Good Luck to all the couples.

Indeed, life is short. Don’t let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans. With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again.

I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.

Looking for the magic of making up? Maybe your situation is not covered in this article?

Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at http://www.squidoo.com/how_can_i_retrieve_my_ex_lover_back

You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.

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First, it

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How to Build a Healthy Relationship?

bektinet — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 05:16:00 +0000

These are but a few things you should do to keep long distance relationships going in the right direction. But keep in mind that all relationships need work.

â€œHappily ever afterâ€ is a term which exists only in fairy tales. In real life every relationship has its share of bumps and problems. In fact having occasional arguments is even considered healthy. But if mutual bickering and fights become an everyday phenomenon, then you know your relationship is headed for trouble.

A lot of song writers and poets have aptly said â€œlove just ainâ€™t enough!â€ Mutual love may be the most important building block of a relationship, but love alone canâ€™t sustain the relationship.Â You might love your partner or spouse to death but may still find your relationship battling stormy weather. The reason could be that your relationship has one or more of the following elements missing: trust, open communication, respect, honesty and/or complete commitment. However, if you have the will and desire to make your relationship work, these problems can be sorted out.

How to make your relationship work?

Acknowledge that you have a problem

Blame- game is the common factor in almost all troubled relationships. People tend to get so blinded with anger that they lose their objectivity. Ego of course adds fuel to the fire. Sadly, this raging fire of anger and ego burns down the most vital building block of a relationship- love. It is therefore important that both the partners acknowledge the fact that they have a problem and refrain from finger pointing.

Communicate

Often we donâ€™t share our feelings with our partner/spouse for the fear of hurting them and some times we may avoid speaking our mind in order to avoid an argument.Â Continuation of this kind of behavior has the potential to destroy a relationship. Not sharing your feelings will lead to simmering resentment within you and the other person will continue with their life without even realizing that their behavior is hurting you. The result can be an explosion of bottled up emotions, leaving your partner bewildered and deeply hurt.Â Open channels of communication are therefore vital for the health of any relationship and remember communication need not always be in an argumentative tone or a high pitched voice.Â Itâ€™s important to keep your ego aside and communicate your feelings in a loving manner, in order to save yourself and your loved one from pointless hurt.

Relationship counseling

When you are angry or deeply hurt, you may blow small problems out of proportion. Just as love sometimes clouds our objectivity, hurt and anger have a similar effect too. You may be tempted to ask a friend or a close relative to interfere or â€œmake the other person see the sense of your argumentâ€, but remember this approach can easily backfire as friends and relatives may not be objective and biased towards you.Â Itâ€™s therefore advisable to seek relationship counseling if both you and your partner are open to the idea. You may feel hesitant about confiding in a stranger, but remember a counselor is not just a stranger but a trained therapist. Just like you go to a doctor to treat an illness, you can visit a relationship counselor to treat your ailing relationship.

Clinical Hypnosis

If either of you have a problem with insecurity, jealousy or commitment phobia, the reason could be your past. Clinical hypnosis could help you in this case. Sometimes some past events or happenings may get so firmly embedded in your subconscious that you might end up taking a lot of actions because of those past memories, without even realizing it. Through clinical hypnosis a trained therapist will be able to delve into your subconscious and help you release the memories which are hampering your relationship and re-program your mind.

Positive affirmations

When a relationship is in trouble we tend to indulge in lot of negative self-talk about ourselves and our relationship. Not only does such behavior push the relationship further into the abyss of loneliness it also affects our confidence and desire to make the relationship work. Repeated negative self-talk ends up strengthening our belief that our relationship is beyond repair.Â However, if instead of telling yourself how miserable you are and how imperfect your relationship is, if you could focus on making your relationship work, not only will you feel more motivated to bring your love life back on track but youâ€™ll also feel more confident about being able to do it. You can either make up your own affirmations or practice the following in front of a mirror everyday:

â€œI love and appreciate myself the way I amâ€

â€œI deserve to love and be lovedâ€

â€œI am surrounded by love at all timesâ€

â€œThe universe supplies me with endless loveâ€

â€œAll is well in my worldâ€

Visualization techniques

Have you ever noticed that when you visualize something negative your body and mind start reacting as if you are already facing that situation? For example if you visualize you and your partner/spouse parting ways, you might feel a lump in your throat and your heart may start sinking. If you continue with your negative visualizations your body and mind start unconsciously pushing you in the direction of what you visualize the most. Similarly if you visualize yourself in a fulfilling relationship with your spouse/partner, your body and mind will start preparing you to live those happy images and will push you to push to fruition the visions of a healthy relationship.

These tips and techniques will be able to help you build a healthy relationship only if you and your partner are open to the idea of changing for the better, to make your relationship work.

Want to learn more? Have a comment or situation youâ€™d like to start? Continue your self-help coaching journey at Boomer Yearbook.

www.boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit.

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How to Build a Healthy Relationship?

bektinet — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 04:21:24 +0000

So think about it clearly. Imagine your partner never being a part of your life, ever again. Do you still think breaking up is a good idea?

BoomerYearbook.com – December, 2008 – “Happily ever after” is a term which exists only in fairy tales. In real life every relationship has its share of bumps and problems. In fact having occasional arguments is even considered healthy. But if mutual bickering and fights become an everyday phenomenon, then you know your relationship is headed for trouble.

A lot of song writers and poets have aptly said “love just ainâ€™t enough!” Mutual love may be the most important building block of a relationship, but love alone canâ€™t sustain the relationship.Â You might love your partner or spouse to death but may still find your relationship battling stormy weather. The reason could be that your relationship has one or more of the following elements missing: trust, open communication, respect, honesty and/or complete commitment. However, if you have the will and desire to make your relationship work, these problems can be sorted out.

How to make your relationship work?

Acknowledge that you have a problem

Communicate

Relationship counseling

Clinical Hypnosis

Positive affirmations

“I love and appreciate myself the way I am”

“I deserve to love and be loved”

“I am surrounded by love at all times”

“The universe supplies me with endless love”

“All is well in my world”

Visualization techniques

These tips and techniques will be able to help you build a healthy relationship only if you and your partner are open to the idea of changing for the better, to make your relationship work.

Want to learn more? Have a comment or situation youâ€™d like to start? Continue your self-help coaching journey at Boomer Yearbook. Please Visit: http://www.boomeryearbook.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=6

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Popularity: How to be Liked & Popular in Relationships

bektinet — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 22:59:58 +0000

POPULARITY IN RELATIONSHIPS

How to be liked, popular in social, casual, inmate relationships, friendships; what popularity is.

“I am popular, and people still don’t like me!” screams a high school student in a discussion form. One advises: “Being popular means you’re better than everyone else, so act like it!” Another complains: “People look down on me and my friends, because we’re so popular!”

Popularity, even the meaning of do not know many. A glance at high school web-forms show it to be thought of as being rich, posh, an achiever, a show off -and a stigma to be regarded to be! That is far from even what it used to mean centuries ago: common.

Popularity is likeability; regardless of looks, wealth or position or intellect, being liked by other people.

A US president deemed more able and elected did not get the popularity vote -his opponent did ~another who when told someone was anticommunist replied “I don’t care what kind of communist” did, also. A wealthier Italian news-media magnet was not popular with people, his rival was. A UK premier considered by women better looking didn’t win the popularity vote -the older balding opposition-leader got the women’s popularity vote.

Popularity isn’t about being looked up to, looks, wealth -a fool and a genius, a weakling and a strongman, poor and rich, can be equally liked, enjoy personal popularity.

Popularity is not synonymous with socialising -you may socialise a lot, take part in all sorts of social activity, attend every party, but still not enjoy any popularity.

Being liked by others, popularity, have to do with one’s attitude in one’s socialising, interaction with people; the attitude that commonly, to the majority of the people, makes one somebody they like to deal or be with.

It’s not being an angel or saintly, about views, opinions, likes, dislikes, preferences, but how one treats others.

People are like mirrors; popularity is based on that. If you stand in front of a mirror and make faces, that’s what you get; if you smile, the mirror smiles back at you.

Popularity is respect based -not ‘respect for authority’, not in the ‘yes sir’ sense, but respect for others’ right to be treated as they are regarded by people entitled to expect to be treated. This simply is being considerate in friendship and toward other people one deals with.

Being considerate is being sincere and helpful; or at least sympathetic, and if one can not be that either, then at the very least empathetic -understanding enough to respect others’ right to their views, opinions, preferences ~for your right to same not to spoil theirs.

That is what respect for others means -but it makes you popular because it also makes others respect you.

People who must, do show respect for wealth or position; if they don’t have to, here’s their saying: Respect not even a king, if he doesn’t respect you; but do respect also a pauper, if he respects you!

Let us look at it in literature, in verse (from a poem by O. Metiner – Birlik, 29 Jan 1993 -trnsltd.), about the popular Cypriot thinker-writer-poet the teacher, the late, Orhan Seyfi Ari – it tells it all:

His concern -so sincere!

Greatly respected everywhere!

Years spent -to illuminate!

More: hearts, his sultanate!

What’s it saying? So respected, because he was sincerely concerned, helped -therefore popular.

Many fail in relationships with others, because they are not popular -popularity is not difficult. All one needs to do is to have regard in one’s dealings to what people consider others entitled to expect.

That pays, and if you don’t do that people think you are stupid, because you are not cashing in on it. But if you do, you do not become unpopular -you benefit, its psychological: a cop is nicer to you for speeding if you get out of the car. Why? Inside the car you are insisting on your territory -outside, recognising his status.

On such scientific experiments are based the gist of the experts’ advice on popularity in relationships, below:-

To be considerate and become popular in relationships, be clever, use psychology to cash in on it: appreciate human nature in your relationships -which briefly is this:

One’s major relationships, basically, are with people in four categories (the last three being interchangeable) with varying degrees of popularity: Blood relatives, e.g., parents or cousins -which one cannot choose; Intimate, e.g., spouses and lovers -which one carefully chooses; social, e.g., friends and acquaintances -some dearer than others; and, casual, e.g., work or class mates, the grocer, strangers -of necessity. (Within the last three one may become another.)

In all four relationships, each party in varying degrees feels protected by a physical personal space. Do not violate that personal space without permission -it makes people feel uncomfortable, your company disliked, you not popular: That personal space in the first two is about 1.5, in the last two 4 feet (45cm, 1.2m).

In all of these relationships people crave for something, depending the nature of the relationship, which makes the difference between being liked by them or not -popularity or unpopularity with them. In the first, blood relations, one craves for approval. In the second, spouses, lovers, expect understanding, affection, appreciation. In the third, social acquaintances, friends want popularity -to be liked by you. In the fourth, casual, others: co-operation. Showing these makes popular.

Here are some general rules about how to earn likeability, popularity, be famous, in these relationships:

The first two relationships, relatives, family relations or intimate relationships, have fewer such rules. This is because in matrimonial relationships, personal relations -steady emotional or sexual relationships, living together, boyfriends, girlfriends, lovers, habitually we take for granted or are caringly tolerant toward each other. We are more involved in these family or other intimate relationships. The constancy and importance of our dealings reflect others’ personal likes, preferences more in close or intimate relationships, we know most.

Generally these earn one popularity in such intimate relationships: The elderly are somewhat set in their ways -popularity with them is appreciating that. In parenting, popularity with kids begins with empathising with them; if unsympathetic, still being understanding -to be popular with teenagers make them feel that you regard them not as children but as gown ups.

In male and female relationships these remembering these boost one’s likeability, popularity: With men, one is more popular if one does not make them appear or feel week. Women like romantic compliments, and to be made to laugh. In intimate relationships all like constant reassurance, to be shown appreciation, frequent praise. In such relationships these make liked, fonder, popular.

The other two kinds of relationships, with friends and acquaintances, with others, involve different measures for popularity. Popularity in social relationships depends on standard rules of conduct. To be popular socially, remember: Social relationships often are not so important to people as their intimate relationships; just as you do, others also like appreciation, even flattery.

The generally applicable rules of being famously liked, popularity, in social, casual relationships are these:

Be a talker but do not bore ~also be a listener: give others a chance also to talk, to tell you about themselves. Appreciate the views of others, even if you disagree; do not criticise unnecessarily. To be popular, if someone wants to be clever avoid an inessential battle of wits. If it is important to you, do not spinelessly agree with the ridiculous; don’t show up if unimportant -neither earn popularity. Be a sport if you have heard a joke before do not spoil another’s fun or enjoyment. Do not be a stiff, join the laughter of a harmless trick on you. If suggesting something, ask if it is okay; show you value others. These make a famous personality, in social relationships earn one social popularity.

Popular friendships are special popular relationships. When confided in, do not betray confidences of friends. If depended on, do not allow yourself to be subjected to moral blackmail; but, if helping or consoling be positive and sincere. If your friend rejects your helpful advice it may be because of confusion, do not nag. If the issue is someone dear to you or to your friend try not to take sides ~never speak ill of someone dear to a friend, even if your friend does in anger (it passes). In unexpected visits don’t stay too long -be considerate. Don’t forget friends, keep in touch when they cannot; if away a phone call, letter, fax, email, postcard pleases – especially on birthdays, anniversaries ~ask how they are, show you care. These make famous with friends, boost your personal popularity rating in friendships.

It earns popularity with acquaintances to keep some distance; people dislike being taken for granted. In casual relationships it makes popular, it is expected, in one’s dealings to be seen to be reasonable. If pursuing an interest, giving a stranger’s role or status recognition gets co-operation -it’s using psychology, cleverly cashing in on human nature, benefiting from popularity.

These tried and tested advice, tips on popularity, work.

It always works and earns popularity in relationships to always wear a smile; be fair, empathetic; show interest.

A School Teacher’s Extraordinary Popularity orhanseyfiari.com

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